It’s been a couple of months since I last sent out a newsletter and I’m sorry if you’ve felt that lack of contact. Working around nourishing family visits and my clients, I also spent the summer working on niching down my website and rewriting it to suit (a challenging process where I often felt at sea) and I found that had no energy left for sending out emails. I do love to write but it’s also a vulnerable space for me; for my words to be set out in print and trying not to worry about how they are received. And it’s always important to me that you get something out of the time we spend together, so sending out something just for the sake of it didn’t sit right.
I like these times to be as if we’re chatting together and so I try to imagine what you might want to talk about or might be interested in and go from there. But that particular well had run dry!!!
And so I paused and try to let myself off the hook, but while in Remembrance this week I had a strong nudge to get on with it; the heart of my business wanted to reach out to you and it had waited long enough! Because, while I'm recuperating my writing skills, you may be struggling and may have forgotten that we're here (me and my business) and we want you to know that there is support available for you, please don’t push on alone. You may be struggling with feelings of not being good enough, or with relationship issues, or balancing work and home life, or with your stress levels. All of it is valid; all of it is acceptable; even when you feel it isn’t. Our feelings let us know when something isn’t right for us; a need that we have that isn’t being met. The tricky bit can be to sit with the uncomfortable emotion long enough to understand what that need is. It can also then be challenging to ask for that need to be met; giving a voice to our neediness is uncomfortable for most and so we may move into old habits of shoving it down within our bodies or lashing outwards with blame, or something else. I get it. When emotions or needs are big (and they get bigger the more we try and manage or ignore them) it can feel overwhelming, and the fear of rejection if we speak up is huge.
That’s a vulnerable place to be. Have you noticed that if you get angry you can say all the stuff you haven’t said before, the stuff you bit your tongue about? Anger is a way to bring power back to ourselves and is especially potent after all the powerlessness of just trying to get on with things, coping, pushing on. This is a breeding ground for frustration and resentment. And so Anger comes along and lets it all out. Thank you Anger! You may not like the fall out, but it served our bodies (storing repressed emotions has a cost to the body). And yet if we’d taken time to lean into what we were feeling, address the unmet need, all of that emotional brewing and the subsequent explosion could have been avoided. Look back over the day or week. What emotions come up for you? Can you then take a moment or two and ask them “what am I in need of?” Once you get your answer, can you give yourself permission to met that need? As the pace of life begins to lift again, you may feel overwhelmed. What is it you are in need of? Space? Time alone? Less to do? Someone to help you? Something else? Once you recognise the need, you’ll also find that the emotion subsides. That is, unless you tell yourself that you just can’t find a way to help yourself. If that’s the case may I suggest, gently and lovingly, that it’s time to change what you say to yourself and also to set some time aside to take care of you. We are (unfortunately) a society that celebrates the achievement of 'doing', and so to not 'do' can feel lazy or selfish. Yet to not take care of yourself means that you and those around you suffer in some way. So back the first aspect; change what you say to yourself. Did you know that your subconscious believes everything you tell it? Of course this has it up-sides and down-sides.
Downside; if you don't know what you're telling yourself it's unlikely to be helpful and supportive, more likely to be critical, berating and energy depleting. And you repeat this over and over. There's nothing good about that! The upside is that we can say great things again and again and over time the great things will become truth for us, they become a new point of view. So, back to changing what you say to yourself. The first step is noticing it. Do you use phrases such as "it's disastrous", "I felt horrendous", "it's killing me" or other such strong language? How powerful are those words and how do they make you feel? Not fabulous right?!
Do you tell yourself you haven't got time for all that (meditation) nonsense? Do you negate your needs? Do you tell yourself it’s not possible and that you just need to suck it up and get on with it? Is your head a jumble of thoughts? Or are you just screaming inside?
Please stop. Press pause.
Take a breath in and then let it out.
Do that again; slow breath in and a slow breath out. And again, one more. Breathe in slowly and then breathe out even more slowly. Ok, well done.
Now, (a little bit of energy work to help get you back on track) I want you to stand with your feet hip width apart, arms loose by your sides and say, out loud, this EAM (Energy Alignment Method) clearing statement:
“I am now ready to release all resistant feelings, thoughts and beliefs connected with the idea that I can’t cope, that I don’t have time for me, that there’s too much to do and it’s all my responsibility. I release all this from my energy, in all forms, on all levels, at all points in time” say this 3 times. (Please feel free to tweak the statement to suit your particular internal chattering).
Now you're going to bring in the good stuff. Lift your arms above your head, like a funnel, and say: “I am now ready to feel that I have plenty of time, that I am capable of doing what I need AND taking excellent care of me. I allow myself to feel relaxed, open, expansive, abundant, free, vibrant and amazing. I call all of this into my energy, in all forms, on all levels, at all points in time” say 3 times, take a breath, release the breath and then slowly bring your arms down by your sides. Feels better, right?
You may still have residual stuff going on, so if you feel you need a little more help, check out these videos on my website: Silent Tapping or Silent Tapping with Colour. The rhythm of the tapping and the energy discharge that comes with it soothes the emotional brain, takes you out of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn and helps you feel calm and capable once again. If you are ready to take a little time for some connection to your heart, click on the Remembrance video. It's a wonderful way to pull away from the 'noise' around you, become calm and centered and create a connection to yourself and the Divine from the centre of your heart. Or if you feel ready to come and work with me, please reply to this email or take a look at the services I offer.