Is This You?
You may be wondering whether what you're dealing with is something you can bring here.
Maybe it feels too complicated to explain.
Maybe you're not even sure it's something you should need support with.
You've probably already tried to think your way through it, look at it differently, change something, handle it differently.
You're resourceful. It's got you this far, but the problem is still there.
So rather than give you a list of problems that I work with, here are a few glimpses into the kinds of moments that can bring someone through my door.
Perhaps you'll recognise something of yourself in one of them.
01
You've just got in from work and you're exhausted. What you really want to do is collapse on the sofa, but dinner isn't going to make itself.
Then you hear your husband ask, “What's for dinner?”
And you explode.
He looks completely bewildered.
“Whoa. All I did was ask what we're having for dinner.”
Which makes you even angrier.
Why do I have to be the one who thinks about everything?
02
Finally, you've got the evening to yourself. Nobody's asking anything of you and there's nowhere you need to be.
The telly's on but you're scrolling through your phone at the same time. You put the phone down. You pick it back up again. You wander into the kitchen. You find something to eat. You sit back down.
This is what you wanted, an evening to yourself.
So what do you actually want to do?
And that's when it hits you.
You don't know anymore.
03
You're out for lunch with your friends.
Someone says your name and you realise you haven't heard a word they've been saying.
You try to tune back into the conversation. Everyone's laughing about something. You smile, you fake laugh along with them, but somehow it's as though you're watching it rather than being part of it.
You don't feel like you belong here anymore.
04
You're helping your partner with some plumbing. Something isn't working and he's getting frustrated.
Immediately, you're tense. You're watching his body language closely, listening to his voice, waiting for the explosion.
Except it doesn't come.
He quietly mutters, “For fuck's sake,” with his head down and tries again.
And you're still bracing for the explosion…
... that actually belongs to a completely different relationship.
05
The house is calm again.
The children are upstairs and you're standing in the kitchen, replaying what you just said.
Not even the words, particularly.
The way you said them.
Because suddenly you can hear someone else in your voice.
Someone you promised yourself you would never be.
06
You've been doing the thing you love on the side for years. Evenings. Weekends. Whenever you can squeeze it in.
People actually pay you for it, and you've imagined what it would be like to be your own boss.
And tonight you're rereading the resignation letter that's sitting on your laptop.
Then you open up another file and double-check the finances again.
You stare at the numbers and your heart sinks.
Maybe it's just a pipe dream.
07
You've always been able to see things that other people can't.
You sense things about people and places, and sometimes you know something without knowing how you know. You see energy, colours or light that nobody else seems to be aware of.
It starts as soon as you wake up and immediately you shut it down.
I've got other things to do.
And then something slips through.
What else did you shut down?
You go still.
You don't have an answer for that.
If you recognise yourself in any of these moments, the chances are it isn't because something like this happened just once. It's because you found yourself here before.
On the surface, it may seem it really shouldn't be a big deal, but when it keeps showing up, it signals something underneath is calling for your attention.
And it's not because you're incapable of dealing with your own life. You've already proved that you are.
It's because the moment itself may actually just be the signpost, and what's underneath it costs you something to carry: your patience, your energy, your headspace, your capacity to connect, to relax, and to respond as yourself.
And the more it takes, the less of you is available for the life you're living now.
Curious about how I work?
If you're wondering what I mean by following the signpost — and what actually happens when you bring something like this to me — you can read more about how I work.
Want to get cracking?
If you've read enough and you're already thinking, Yep. I want some help with this, you can see the different ways we could work together.
Not ready for that?
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