So, it's been a bit 'January' so far. It has taken me a while to navigate the winter energies and begin to engage on social media more. The New and Full moons of January helped shift levels a lot. But there has been a flatness, grumpiness, unconscious energy that has me zoned out and I've been hiding in my hermit-like tendencies. Sometimes I was able to clear it, to use my tools and have felt better, temporarily. But other times I've almost forgotten how to help myself and instead I've just sat with it! Sometimes there was even acceptance.
That's ok. It's January.
A few weeks ago, I heard Dr Robert Holden say "January is a practice month!" I like that. It takes the pressure off!!
Remember, the energy is still about winter and inward-ness, preparation for renewal. So if you're doing new things; deciding and choosing a new way for yourself, be gentle and slow to begin with. Your energy will rise with the energy of the Earth.
At the beginning of January I started a year long journey on something called A Course in Miracles (ACIM). It is a course in a book and is renowned for being challenging and this is why we are given a year to compete it; working through daily lessons to release the conditioning that society shapes us with and to then be present to the Divine within all, to see the world with Love, to see all through the eyes of the Divine. It sounds lovely, right?
Ha ha, it is, or it will be, but most students of ACIM (and I'm particularly thinking of global spiritual teachers) say they repeat the Course again and again. They become perpetual students of Love. This is because we need to constantly be reminded. It's expansive to revisit ideas we have from another view and perceive the wonder, the magic and gift of Love that a simple table, your favourite cuppa, or a single flower offers; literally the miracle that it is. But first we have to undo the thoughts, judgements, perceptions and beliefs that we have about all things, including ourselves. We need to acknowledge the hidden emotions that bubble under the surface and lead to a sense of separation.
There was a question I heard many years ago, which can be very helpful when noticing that you feel upset/ triggered by something or someone, and are taking it personally. The question is "where is the call for love in that?" This is asking to acknowledge that there is pain in some form and through upsetting behaviours/words it is highlighting a need for love and care. Could we begin to provide some of that? Or at least, not add to the pain?
Behind every upset or discordant emotion and behind every unkind action or thought, lays an unmet need, a part that needs love. I frequently say to my clients, when they are feeling resistant, rebellious or apathetic, that there are gifts to be found by being with that discomfort.
Part of you is trying to communicate.
I know that it can feel so much easier to box it up, to push it down, to hide it away or pretend all is OK. But then you won't grow AND you'll still hit against the same problems over and over again.
Bring the courage of your heart and a willingness and curiosity to yourself, to that part, and ask; "what is it you need?" What if the fight that we have with parts of ourselves is just the human trying to fix everything alone? Without the Divine aspect, it's an endless and difficult task.
What if, each feeling of separation and each thought of 'othering', is a reminder to reconnect to the Divine? Most of us we have 1000s of reminders each day! Even if we only noticed 1 or 2 and made an effort to face towards the Divine and receive that Love and nourishment. Can you imagine the difference it would make to your day.
To you, the Divine might be angels, Mother Gaia, God, Allah, Ascended Masters (Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Buddha etc) guides or even your loving ancestors. By beginning to reach for the aid, the love, the care, the Light of something greater than you, you begin to allow support. There's a meditation here that you can use to help get you started, but if you already have a practice that suits you, revisit that!